some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
