Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
