Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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