Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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