In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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