i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
