Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize