Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
