oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
