i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Non-Jews are for practice
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
