Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
