"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
