i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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