Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
