booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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