a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
