im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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