Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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