First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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