I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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