she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
