if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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