THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
