I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
