He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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