i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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