I think my vagina is haunted
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
