fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
