so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Dick very happy bro
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
