I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is wine microwaveable?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
