covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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