There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
