your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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