OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
