I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Randomize
