I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
