I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
