There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
