pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
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