I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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