somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel great
I just peed on a car
4 words: hood of his car
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
