Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
