How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
