I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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