I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
