yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
