so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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