I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
