sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
