I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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