update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
this just has baby written all over it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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