If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
