So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
