i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
