i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
