Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
