did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
