What a fucking waste of an outfit
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
