there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
