You really coming over, don't trick.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
