I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
