Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
